Friday, September 09, 2005
My lack of wifeliness
Argument with Dear Husband last night, because I decided not to take the copyediting project, which would have required about 60 hours of work in 13 days. But, he thought I was shirking my duty to bring in extra income, which we do really need. Thirteen bad days for you, he said, can bring in more money than what I could earn in a month. Sigh. And we’re back to our usual conflict: I don’t carry near enough of the burden. I don’t keep the house clean enough; I don’t discipline the kids well enough; I don’t take them out enough. “All you do is take care of A. when she wakes up at night—I could do that.” Another sigh. What else do I do? Maybe he’s right. I make sure they have clean clothes. I read to them. I feed them. I bathe them. I wake up at night and take care of them when they’re sick. I make lunches. I get up at 5 am to make sure they’re out the door in time for the bus. I work 40 hours a week. I even cook sometimes. I’m sure his list would be longer, but I don’t think mine is so shoddy. Feeling very low, and now I have to go pick up the kids and try to meet their exuberance with something besides glumness.